Prover's notes. Aqua Buluus: Ice and flame…


Svetlana Popova's wonderful story about the Proving of Glacier Buluus-Water about the Proving of Glacier Buluus-Water helped me to dive back into those unforgettable impressions that brought me this experience.

The meeting with the glacier took place in summer 2017, right after a short trip to the Lena River – it was a beautiful journey. Unfortunately, this journey has ended with the sudden death of one of the crew members...

I remember this, and it is difficult to explain the state in which I was when I first had touched the source: depression, involuntary guilt (although we were all so happy about that trip, enjoyed the rest, and there was a man who did so much for us, was so responsive – I could not stand ...) – and I felt the fear of death, so unfair and sudden...


The very feeling of death did not let go for a few days before that happened death. Some of the tourists and I had strange thoughts that one of the sightseers had died ( or like it was a telegram that reported about the death of a relative, in a completely different city). It seemed to us that there was a corpse on the ship, and many people were talking about it. The good mood gradually replaced the anxious one: at the begging of the trip I communicated a lot with other participants of the trip, then gradually the desire to communicate disappeared, I wanted to lock myself in my cabin and sit there as if it was the only protected space, and in other place there was some unknown danger (the apogee of this state happened during the last night of our trip, when I did not go to a general meeting, went to bed early and heard from the door behind some general vanity – as it turned out later it was caused by the death of our attendant; and only I was "protected" from this information at that moment, I saw neither the ambulances nor the police who were arriving at the shipyard).


Now when we have done the Proving, it is clear that this state has already been a kind of "memory of the future" – of what will be revealed in the source during the potentiation process: the contrasting combination of incompatible states, the feeling of death hovering around and threatening, the division of space into "its own", small and safe, and "foreign", where something incomprehensible and threatening lurks – since March 2020 (when we carried out the Buluus-Proving) this division of space would become a new and very traumatic experience for almost all of provers. But at that time, in summer 2017, there seemed to be no reason for this – and yet the condition was becoming more and more pronounced.

Despite this emotional background, the trip to Buluus turned out to be not just a tour to the monument of nature – it was an attempt to get to a new experience of life, to break the vicious circle of vague, almost unconscious fear.

And it was. I was very lucky at that day of the week, there was no ordinary influx of tourists. When I was alone in this relatively small valley, where the glacier was kept, clutched on all sides by low mountains covered by “taiga”, the feeling of confusion or confusion itself finally came out of the depths of my soul and became apparent. Bright sun and ice islands, in which existence you could hardly believe (because this year the summer in Yakutia was so hot that I managed to see only very small remnants of the glacier – fortunately, the whole glacier did not melt). And around all these there were strange, vague and mixed all: water, earth, grass, rocks, but most important was mixture of water and water, which seemed to live their lives. Water formed small "lakes" and "brooks", a bizarre inexplicable form, did not go anywhere and did not disappear from this strange meeting place of substances that from the point of view of common sense could not meet…


The Buluus that I saw and felt was like "last year's snow" – or rather, not even "last year's" (because it always seemed doomed to me – this feeling was inspired by its paradoxical color, the mixture of white and black! )... This ice was "eternal" – despite the heat and the abundance of water around it, it became very clear that even if there was a tiny ice floe of it, it would come back again, it was and would always be – and all the transformations in time were not frightening and had no special meaning. The fever poured out from above, but when you discover the icy islands, the cold, frightening and invigorating feelings can be seen on your face – as if life and death had also changed places in this wonderful valley, preserving the substance, in which by the miracle this unconnected was joined…


Tatiana Alpatova

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